westbor0baptistchurch:

I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

i-cant-nope:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

One time I was masturbating in the shower and came so hard that I couldn’t keep in my scream but I knew my brother was in the bedroom next door and that he’d hear and know what I was doing so I quickly transitioned into singing the opening of the Lion King.

i have an unknown need to reblog this

This is going to be my most tumblr famous post.

I can feel it my lions.

I mean my loins.

I’m pooping and eating cocoa puffs and I thought that was worth mentioning

so my dad got us a maid but i didn’t know she’d be here still and i have to poop really badly but i don’t want her to judge me so i’m just hiding out in my room help